Love and other failings

The wait for you is like the swim to the surface while holding on to dear breath.

A life riddled with failed relations and broken promises and you come into my life with all your beauty. Fate is ironical. What do you want? What do I want from myself? Why things that seemed so simple seem so convoluted now. When did things go so wrong? Or are they falling into place now? I, who once prided in clarity of thought and sense of direction, am faltering.  And your smile is making it seem like that first drop of water after miles of sand and sun. Failure has never been so inviting as your tenderness.

I am sorry. I know not the language of poetry or songs. I am a coarse man who is feeling again. One who is healing again. Thank you for that. I know again there is someone to live for, if not to be with. Thank you for I will never have to tell you what you mean to me.

To be with someone all day and night and not needing to say a word. You could have been that person. But you will never be mine, for I belong to someone else. I love you now. And I shall love you for as long as I live. That’s my own little failing. Thank you for revealing that weakness. I shall never be weak again. I will be what I am meant to be. You could have changed that - maybe. But how?

I stay up dreading my own future. You could have been my reality. But I live in my nightmares. I haven’t felt so alive. Only to fear the death I am about to die. "To right the wrong and walk the path". Bullshit. Someday, some age, some life you will be mine.